Slice of Life Saturday’s: The Vacation from Hell!
Happy Saturday, guys!
Did you see the amazing Tiffany & Co. $500 gift card giveaway going on? You should totally get in on this one. If it wasn’t considered cheating, I would totally sign up. I love me some Tiffany’s jewelry.
I arrived home from vacation last Saturday, and I’m slowly trying to get back into my daily routine. I’m not going to lie, it’s a bit difficult. A week of no internet connection or contact with the “real world” left me a bit spoiled. I’ve been doing a combination of cooking and vegging out in front of my computer monitor watching Mad Men.
Are you familiar with Mad Men? I just discovered the series on Netflix. I know…I live under a rock. I’m the least trendy person you’ll ever meet, which is why there’s a lack of themed posts on this site. Kale chips? You won’t find a recipe for those here. I’m sure their delicious, but, um, no. Cake balls? Not even worth the effort. I made them for a baby shower and will never attempt them again–so time consuming.
Back to Mad Men. You guys, I’m in love. The characters. The dresses. The cocktails, all day, every day (even at work). Drinking at work really needs to make a come back. My tolerance level would jump up a few notches if I could guzzle cosmos while dealing with my patients. I’ve been watching a few episodes every night. Such promiscuity–I love it!
I’ve also been busy trying to perfect old-fashioned fudge for Love & Olive Oil‘s Old-Fashioned Fudge Kitchen Challenge. I was all like, “Psht, I’m a player when it comes to fudge. I got this in the bag.”
My first batch of fudge completely debunked any confidence I originally had. Who knew making fudge the old-fashioned way would be so dang hard. The end result was a hard, gritty brick. Back to the drawing board. Squirrel found the fudge and began chowing down. Mouth full, he asked, “What’s this? Whatever it is, it’s good.” Folks, right there is why I’m the head taste tester. That man. At least it didn’t go to waste.
Are you dying to hear about my vacation given the title of this post? On with it…
Mind you, I never wanted to get on the Boat of Doom. You remember me stating that last week, right? Right. This is all Squirrel’s fault.
Like the good airport patrons we are, the Phaneuf family (pronounced fan-off. That’s my last name–ewww, right?) arrived at the airport at the recommended 3 hours prior to departure time. We were excited (and by “we,” I mean them. I was just going with the flow), we were ready to start our week of fun on the Boat of Doom (again, by “we,” I mean them), and, most of all, we were ready to relax. Everything was dandy. We checked our bags and proceeded to the security line.
There must have been 10 hundred people in the security line. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but there were a ton of freakin’ people in that line. All those people and only 2 agents. What? Does that make sense? Of course it doesn’t. We’re talking about the airport here, people. The hours passed and we were still not through the winding line of people. Meanwhile, our flight was scheduled to take off in 30 minutes. We started getting anxious and babbling about how we were going to miss the flight, and if we missed the flight, how we were also going to miss the Boat of Doom (smile).
I proceeded to flag down a TSA agent and asked him if he could expedite us through the line, as our flight was about to depart. I was shot down. The rules state that they’re not allowed to expedite people through security. Basically, sorry for your luck. Ugh!
TSA guy informed me to ask a Southwest agent for help. Squirrel’s dad got out of line to hunt down a Southwest agent. While he did that, I flagged down a second TSA agent just in case TSA guy was a newb and didn’t know what he was talking about. Come to find out, TSA guy was right. TSA guy #2 said that the only thing we could do was ask every single person in line in front of us if we could move ahead of them. Uh, yeah, that was short lived. Only two people were nice enough to let us move up. Squirrel’s dad was shot down by Southwest, so we were stuck.
When we finally made it out of the line, we ran to our gate. We arrived 5 minutes prior to our scheduled departure to find out that our seats had been sold to stand-by patrons. A surreal fog came over all of us. I remember thinking, This isn’t happening. Only problem was, it did happen. We were early for our flight and they sold our tickets. The disappointment on my husband’s face made my heart hurt. He was really looking forward to getting on that cruise.
After arguing, pleading, and convincing a whole lot of people to let us on the ship, we were on a flight to Cancun, then a taxi to Playa del Carmen, then a ferry to Cozumel, then a taxi to our temporary hotel to catch up with the ship. We missed two days of our vacation before we boarded the ship in Cozumel. Hence the tag Vacation from Hell.
By the time we boarded the ship, we were exhausted. From all of the extra traveling, my luggage had a gigantic hole in the top and was missing a wheel. Try lugging that around Mexico. I thought, One step on that boat, and someone better put a drink in my hand.
The Boat of Doom was okay once we made it to our room and got settled. Would I travel via cruise ship again? I might consider an adults-only cruise…maybe.
Due to all the drama, I barely took out my camera during the cruise. I apologize in advance. Here are the few shots I was able to mustered up:
Beautiful sunset I captured leaving Cancun on the ferry at Playa del Carmen.
I believe I had a stalker. Squirrel was sneaking around the atrium of the hotel the morning we were waiting to catch the ship in Cozumel.
Cozumel was gorgeous. The water was stunning, and there were divers as far as the eye could see. I wish we had more time in Cozumel, because it was my favorite island out of the four we visited.
Belize was hot and there was bird shit everywhere. I don’t think we’ll be going back.
More of Belize.
The beaches of Costa Maya were gorgeous. The surrounding area, not so much.
What I’ve learned from this experience:
- When it comes to the airport, we’re all just cattle. The airlines make the rules and we follow them. They don’t give two craps if you miss your flight and your vacation is ruined.
- TSA will never work faster than a snail’s pace. They’re not flying, so who gives a damn.
- When catching the Boat of Doom, always fly to the designated port the evening before departure.
- All parenting ceases once aboard the ship, and kids are in charge of themselves. Next cruise is adults-only.
- People cruise to eat…nonstop. I love food, but damn!
- Fly to an all-inclusive resort with hot cabana boys and skip the boat ride all together.